Everyone goes through transitions in their life. Changing jobs, kids being born, kids moving out, retiring, etc. Transitions can be hard or easy. The transitions you go through depend on many factors. Age, gender, status, stage of life. And to complicate things, two people going through the exact same thing will view differently. Take retirement.
For many people, retirement is a time they look forward to. A time that they can relax. They don’t have to get up early, be at work, deal with the stress. For other people, it is a dream that they will never be able to attain because of finances or current living situation. And then there are those who can’t retire because their personality won’t allow them to sit still.
While I am talking specifically about retirement with these examples, the same options could apply to almost any change in life. The key to successfully navigating changes in life comes down to three things: know where you want to go, have a plan to get there, and be willing to do the work to get there.
Know Where You Want to Go
Many people have a vague idea of where they want to go with their lives. Ask most people approaching retirement and they can give you a list of things they want to do. Things like play golf, go fishing, travel, and spending more time with the grandkids. I’m not saying those things aren’t great, because they are! The problem is those things are vague.
One of the important parts of any goal planning is to be specific. So applying that to retirement, how much golf do you want to play? One day a week? Five days a week? Will you be playing by yourself or with friends? Will you join a league? The point is that general statements of goals usually lead to failure to achieve those goals. Specific statements of goals tend to lead to success. When planning for how much money you will make next year you should never say “a lot.” You should always give a specific dollar amount. Something like $120,000. So back to golf you will play one round of 18 holes, three days a week, and work to reduce your handicap by 10 over the next year.
For some people that may seem like too much detail and for some who are retiring to release stress it is too demanding, but people live better with some parameters to their lives. Just like children need boundaries for acceptable behavior, adults work better with guidelines to achieve their goals.
Have A Plan To Get There
Closely related to “Knowing where you want to go,” is how are you going to get there? Again some people may find this work too detailed, but if you don’t figure out how to get somewhere specific, you have no idea where you will end up. Something like going to the train station and asking for a ticket to anywhere. It may sound like fun in the abstract, but the reality will probably be very different.
To be successful, you need to determine the specific steps to get there. The best way to achieve that is to start with what you have/where you are. Next, what is the end result/goal you want to achieve. Finally, list all of the steps it takes to get from your starting point to your ending point.
Once you have the list made, you would be wise to set this aside for a day or two and then revisit. Often, when people write out anything they forget things or leave out steps. Reviewing later allows you to fill in what you left out in the first draft.
Be Willing To Do The Work To Get There
One of the things that stops people from achieving their goals is their unwillingness to put in the work. We live in a society that wants/expects instant gratification. “Please give me a pill that will take the weight off without my having to exercise.” Sorry, it doesn’t work that way! You will have to put in the work, or you won’t get what you want. A couple of phrases capture that concept: “Eat the frog first,” and “Embrace the suck.” The point is you are well advised to get the hard part done first and then the rest is easy.
Everything of value costs something. That cost may be money or time or dignity or relationships. Are you willing to pay the price? Only you can answer the question.
Final Thoughts
Most people don’t like change in their lives. So, most people feel anxious about transitions. The hard part is we all go through multiple transitions during their lives. It’s up to you if you want those changes easy or hard.